Reply to How to get my dad to factor in cost of attending?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with the PP that you need to correct your messaging. You told her not to worry about college costs, so she thinks everything is on the table. It sounds like what you mean is that you can afford to send her someplace where she can get a very good education, but you don't necessarily want to stretch yourself financially unless you feel that the more expensive option will lead to significantly better outcomes for your daughter. You need to have a more nuanced conversation and be direct and real about what the more expensive options mean for your family finances.[/quote]
This. For some context, my parents really could afford any college, but I grew up in a state with an excellent public university (U.Mich.). My dad was explicit that he would only consider paying higher tuition than in-state at UM if [b]he[/b] felt it was worth it (though I had the opportunity to convince him of that). He also refused to pay for a public university in any other state. Whether you agree with his constraints doesn't matter...the point is I knew exactly what he was/was not offering to pay for. I did briefly consider the idea of taking on financial aid if I wanted to go to a school that didn't meet his criteria, but it took like 10 minutes to realize that was silly. I ended up attending an HYPS that my parents financed completely...and, honestly, I'm glad that my dad's rules meant I didn't waste time applying to schools beyond a handful of elites and UMich. Another friend of mine's parents had similar constraints, but they didn't let her know up front. She end up getting into her dream SLAC, but they refused to pay and she went to UM. It all worked out well for her, but I think she would have preferred to avoid that fight in the last few months she was living at home.[/quote]

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