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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This sounds bearable, she's not barging in with soup and rearranging cabinets. In her mind, she thinks she's showing her love and it will be extremely hard to change old habits. It's easier for her to revert to childhood patterns than see you as a competent adult. As annoying as it is, at least it comes from a place of love.

BTDT. Take the advice about not giving details. They will get defensive if you call them out for treating you like a child, don't do it. It is mean because they aren't capable of viewing as you do and don't understand your reaction. You changed; they didn't keep up.

If you slip up and tell them too much, try to let it roll off  as often as you can.

In my case, my mom is much better now that I have kids but occasionally I have to remind her I'm grown. She's actually open to my point of view but she just can't help herself. [/quote]

I get that, but it's intrusive. She has sent me four texts today asking me how I'm feeling. I didn't respond to the first one, so she keeps sending me "?" texts every few hours or so. Here's the thing: if I respond and say "doing better, thanks", then that opens up a whole new can of worms. There will be multiple follow up questions: "Do you still have a fever?", "Did you go back to work today?", "Are you sanitizing your house so your family doesn't get it?", "Are the antibiotics messing up your stomach?" etc etc. Once I respond at all she knows I have my phone on me so she takes that opportunity to pepper me with more questions. It's never just the one question. I would be ok with answering just the first question, but she asks a rather innocuous one first in order to test the waters for the ones she really wants to ask. -OP[/quote]

I would respond "Following doctor's orders and doing better.  I'll be resting so won't be checking my phone much today."  And then ignoring anything for the rest of the day.

[/quote]

Still following doctor's orders and doing better, Mom.  I'll be resting again today.

Lather.  Rinse.  Repeat until you feel better then...

Hi, Mom.  I'm doing great.  The doctor's treatment worked exactly like she said it would and I'm all better.  Thanks for asking.

Your Mom can only treat you like you are 5 if you let her.  You have to work her like you would your 5 year old who asks all sorts of invasive questions because he doesn't know any better.  And you give him as much information as he can handle and that will get the result you want.  Likewise, you only give your mother the information that will elicit the responses that you are willing to deal with.  If you don't want to deal with intrusive questions, don't be available.  But make sure that she knows that you are not available.

With other things, "Sorry Mom.  It's a busy day at work, I won't be able to talk until this evening/tomorrow/I get back from this work trip"  You give her information after things are resolved when she can no longer pester you about them.  When you talk to her, don't talk about things that will elicit irritating questions and feedback.  When she asks the inevitable questions, you divert like you would a child who is asking about things you don't want to tell.  Most parents seem to have no problem diverting their children from topics they don't want to discuss, but can't seem to put those same skills to use on their parents.

I tell my mother everything about my life.  It's just a question of when I tell her these things.  I often tell her things that have happened or been resolved recently, but I don't talk about current things that I don't want her to worry about, pester me about, or meddle in.[/quote]

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