Reply to I’m dying slow painful death of undermining from narcissist mother

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[quote=Anonymous]Limit the visits to once a year 2-3 days.  It sounds like a stressful relationship.  If it was just about the snacks I would say while grandma is in the house she is probably going to spoil the kids a little.  Learn to let go a little during these visits.

If she is only visiting for 3 days I would drop my expectations.  Your mom wouldn't have known about the snacks if you didn't say anything.  So be careful what you say - otherwise she'll stick her nose into your business.  You could have thrown the snacks in the bin without saying anything.

The thing with people like this, they love it when you react.  So quit reacting to her.  She bought the snacks you told her not to, knowing you would lose it, she doesn't want to be told what to do and will undermine you at every opportunity, understand this is her.  Know that when she visits she'll try to press your buttons.  If you are chill and don't care what snacks she buys it's less drama with her.

If you really can't handle her, then stick to Skype and phone calls. [/quote]

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