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[quote=Anonymous]YOLO...is this what you want? It’s hard to know. I’ve been there OP. DH was on the fence “ok”’with one, but he knew I wanted a “big family” when we were dating. So, it’s really not fair to say that it’s all on me to compromise. He had a very rocky start with entry to fatherhood. I was right where you are now, of family members asking when, when other family who had their first after us, already had their second. I did have jealous thoughts. I even posted a thread or two on here about it all as I was working through different stages.

I highly recommend counseling for yourself to get to the root of what is going on for you. For how to better talk to DH about this marriage issue. (Not to convince him.) You deserve to also be heard and validated in your thoughts on the matter and the place you are currently in sounds like a stand off. That isn’t a happy or healthy place for your marriage to be.

We genuinely had an “oops”’baby six years after the first. It was important to me to have his “buy in” to the pregnancy and may have broken our marriage if he had said no. We had really hard thoughtful conversations about it, and once he was in, he was able to be all in. We revisited his own fears and failings and mine too from the first go around and now we are both so in love with our second child. He still maintains that he doesn’t want any more and is eventually going to get a vasectomy. But we are both happy for the family we have.

I share to give an example of one family working through it. Good luck to you. [/quote]

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