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[quote=Anonymous]How much autonomy should adults have? I’ve wondered in these situations if what to me would be a core denial of my desire to have children was supposedly blocked by my husband would agreeing to sever (in this case) finances work? If he wanted to stay married-be a parent to one-could someone who wanted more children do donor sperm/egg/even surrogate? I’d say OP went into marriage knowing DH reluctance for any children but ‘compromised’ at one entered a different course than promised at outset but when we married we agreed to kids but I then felt need for 4th-to point of it feeling like a physical pain. I’d have felt robbed if my DH hadn’t finally agreed. (And once he said yes DH was 1000% all in for DS.) My hindsight is I had no idea until I did that I would want a different number of children than my DH and while I understand why there’s an argument weighting the NO higher-in my heart of hearts I’d counsel a friend-man or woman-to examine what cost is being extracted by that fairness and maybe the marriage would be one to leave behind. [/quote]

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