Reply to First X-Mas as blended family off to terrible start

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] There are 9 adults and 8 children in this house. [/quote]

This sounds like a nightmare even if nobody's puking. Why did you sign up for that? Never do it again![/quote]

It was really important to DH to have kids kids and grandkids here.  They spent their teen and early adult years at this house, they want to continue the tradition.  Last year my two and I went and stayed with my dad who was in bad health.  This year we have our 10-month-old so things are different.  He desperately wants one big happy family. [/quote]

Too bad. I always find it so ridiculous and selfish when people involved have divorce and remarriage and half-siblings to expect the kids to be all kumbayah about it, especially before a long period (ie, years) of adjustment has happened. DH and OP asked for this mess.[/quote]

NP: The divorce took place when the 29-year-old was a child. The dad was single for most of her teen and adult life.  How much more adjustment should there be?[/quote]

Also, sounds like OP’s DH is the one with unrealistic expectations, and OP just expects to be treated marginally well in her own home.

Your SD sounds like a spoiled brat who is upset Daddy finally moved on after being divorced for two decades.   Knuckle thru the holidays, don’t give SD any ammunition against you and try to get out of DH’s blended fantasy next year. [/quote]

C’mon!  The DH’s first set of kids grew up as a family unit with their Dad as their Dad, and their relationship evolved to the point where they are now adults ready to have kids, and instead of Dad rolling into the ‘usual’ role of Granddad to their kids he is now — surprise! — Dad to a new generation of kid.

It’s not technically wrong on anyone’s part, but it had to throw the first set of kids’ expectations for a loop. That’s a biggg adjustment, and it’s unfair to those kids to pretend like it shouldn’t be.[/quote]

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