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[quote=Anonymous]We did the same thing when my DH's father was dying - the only difference is that the funeral was about a week after his passing.  DH left town immediately to go be with his parents once he got the call that it could be any day.  I stayed behind and made arrangements for our own things to be taken care of, with the idea being that the kids and I would join DH and his family as soon as we could.  I had to find someone to take care of our dogs, get flights, pack up our clothes, make arrangements on the other end to rent a car, get a babysitter lined up for the kids so that we could help out with arrangements, etc.  Plus, I wanted to give DH some time to be alone with his father and to be there for his mom without worrying about me or the kids.

OP, I think your approach is perfectly reasonable.  Given the strained relationship with your mom and DW, I also think that it's your job to convey your DW's condolences to your mom and family and to make it clear that she wanted to come but that you thought it was better for her to stay behind with your child until it's time for the funeral.[/quote]

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