Reply to When you are at peace with yourself to divorce and move on.

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[quote=Anonymous]You sound like my XDH.  I'll tell you what I told him.  You're too late.  I worked so hard for so long at keeping our marriage alive.  My efforts were Herculean.  Yet, you rebuffed and refused all my efforts to get you be a partner - in any sense of the word.  You didn't used to be this way so it's not like I ignored any red-flags early in our relationship.  I didn't end our relationship because I was exhausted and burned out.  I ended it when I lost hope that you'd change back and that not living with you was healthier for the kids and me.

I cannot describe the relief that realization brought me!  I hadn't felt so free and light in years!

My XDH was shocked that I was going through with the divorce and he started making efforts.  It was too late.  I still loved him but love is not enough.  I could forgive his behaviors but I couldn't forget what he'd been like for those years.  When I married my current DH, I know it crushed XDH.  He always held out hope that I'd see how he'd changed and we'd get back together.  I have to admit that I still miss him or, rather, who I thought he was.  Truth is, once I lost that the hope I had, I could never trust that he'd not turn into that uncaring person again.

Too late.[/quote]

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