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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi. This is OP.  Perhaps I should be clearer.

Somehow we are ending up throwing all the holidays from both faiths at our own home.  Plus thanksgiving. We are tired, but the thing that tires us the most are the expectations that both sides need to be included in all celebrations.

As a result, all are too big and we are tired.

Anyone have personal experience with this?[/quote]

My friends in this situation sat down and figured out what they wanted to host and they let their families know early that those were the only holidays (mix of both sides) that they would host.  For the other holidays, they are more than willing for the parent of that faith to take the kids to their family for that celebration.  The other parent sometimes joins, sometimes doesn't.

For example, my best friend is Jewish and his wife is Christian.  They host Passover and a combined winter party around Hanukkah/Christmas.  My friend takes the kids to another family member's house for YK Break-Fast.  She takes kids to Easter dinner at her family.  They sometimes go to one of his family member's home for one or two nights of Hanukkah (so the family can exchange gifts).  They stay home for Christmas and some of her family sometimes comes to visit them there.   He doesn't always go to Easter dinner.  She doesn't always go to Hanukkah or YK.  Everything else is negotiated between that parent and his/her family.

It all comes back to the standard:  decide what you want to do, set boundaries and stick to them.  Do not let the families pressure you into doing what you cannot cope with.  And be willing to adjust your own personal expectations, convey to the family early so they can plan otherwise, and then calmly deal with the fallout when the families inevitably object.  [/quote]

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