Reply to Interfaith couples, too many holiday. How do you tell people "no".

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Interfaith couples, too many holiday. How do you tell people "no"."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We celebrate Xmas with my family.
Thanksgiving we alternate every other year.
We celebrate RH and YK with DH's family.

Really, I would like to host Hanukkah at our house but it doesn't always work out.

Are you traveling for all holidays?  If so, would it help you to pick one and say you're hosting it and anyone is welcome to visit?[/quote]

Sorry it looks like you're hosting, so reverse of my family.  I think it's ok to say I can only host X and Y, and if anyone else wants to host Z let us know.  ??[/quote]

Was the first post OP? I didn’t get that impression... OP, could you clarify?[/quote]

Sorry any confusion but none of this here was OP.  It's me - and FTR I meant to say we do RH and Passover with my DH's family and not YK.  We do that one ourselves.

OP: how many holidays are we talking about here?  what months?  do they all have to be celebrated at your house?[/quote]

All the Jewish ones, and all the Christian ones.  And Thanksgiving.  [/quote]

It sounds like it's time for you and your husband to revisit the conversation about what your interfaith family will look like. Is it important for each of you to celebrate everything? Or has it become more important because the kids are also celebrating the other religion?

In most interfaith families, what this looks like is one religion is celebrated fully, and the other is not. And the one that is celebrated fully is the one that the parent (usually mom) celebrates. Since you say your children are also your faith, why are you celebrating all the holidays of both faiths in your home? It would make more sense to go all out for the holidays of the religion you chose for your children, and do smaller events/rituals/activities for the other holidays. Or, to celebrate those holidays at the house of the grandparents who are that faith.

Is your husband rethinking the idea that the kids will be raised in your faith?[/quote]

Husband and I are good.

Basically, the advice from y'all is to grow a spine (which is fair).  All I want: I want the Jews to take a pass on Christmas and the Christians to take a pass on YK.  Seems fair.  [/quote]

This could be entirely my issue, but I am not sure I totally understand.

Are you saying you only want to celebrate Christmas with the Christian side of the family?
And you only want to celebrate YK with the Jewish side of the family?

That sounds reasonable, but I guess I am just not sure if a few extra people matter if you're celebrating anyway.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics