Reply to 16YO step-DD coming to live with us full time

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Reply to "16YO step-DD coming to live with us full time - rules and expectations?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Be welcoming and nice, why is anything else needed at this point? You say she is nice, why try to create issues before hand? Only thing to say is, we tell each other when we go somewhere, ask if you can go somewhere, etc.. Treat her like your own kids, but not exactly as yours are young. treat her as a young adult. I mean, is she moving because she is a major problem child? Are you an option before wilderness camp? Can you both just be nice?[/quote]

You automatically assume that we're not nice? She wants to move in with us, of course we're nice! Rules and expectations are needed because she's a teenager and right now her weekends with us consist of [b]staying up at all hours of the night on her phone, eating whatever she pleases, and only showering when she feels like it.[/b] She's not a major problem child and I'd like to keep it that way. I'm not asking for prison rules here, just advice on how to effectively parent a teenager full time considering my current learning curve is mastering potty training. [/quote]

All of these bolded things are normal teen behavior and are not rule or argument worthy.

Please do not make these things the hill you die on.

17 year old rules should be focused on preparing them for college in a year.

I posted about the no curfew but if they want to stay late I will drive.  Those are teen rules.

No drinking. Call if you are in a compromising position and I will come get you (or friends). Always have a wingman with you to avoid compromising situations. No drugs, period. No vaping. Respect the household and pick up after yourself so we don't get vermin. Do your own laundry (explain that this is so she can function independently in college). Some basic chores that keep the household functioning and so she can learn to be a good roommate. Etc. Etc.

You have little ones, so a fair rule would be that whatever she watches or listens to when they are around needs to something that will not damage them, scare them, or scar them.  Explain you don't want to be the mom and dad of the 4 year old that no one wants their kid to play with because she talks like a teenager.[/quote]

This OP....but it really depends on a teenager. Some of them will push your boundaries A LOT and to be frank, it is mostly about being a good roommate at this age. I would not worry so much about vaping, drugs, and other silly stuff.[/quote]

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