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Diet, Nutrition & Weight Loss
Reply to "If you are the overweight spouse...."
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[quote=Anonymous]This is an addiction. Unless he sees it as such and is willing and motivated to do something about it, he is not going to change his eating. I struggle with this with DH as well, and my own attitude about it. We do a lot of the things here - no junk in the house, limit the snacks we have for DD etc. DH is a late night snacker so if it’s not convenient he’s less likely to grab it. I do find candy wrappers in the car so he get it when he wants it, but we try not to make it easy. I’ve asked him to stop spending money on “goal” clothes. He has half a closet of things he’s never worn and we don’t have disposable income for that. He’s been willing to do that, which decreases my frustration. I try to make his eating an open topic without judgment. We’ve definitely had conversations about his health and being here for our family long term. I frame it in terms of my concerns and my feelings, not nagging. He’s receptive to the conversations. It doesn’t motivate any behavioral change, but it makes me feel better to say it out loud. So far, it keeps the resentment/frustration at bay. Somewhat. I’ve stopped changing my habits for his new diets. I buy and prepare healthy meals for the family. If I can easily modify for carb free I do. Otherwise he modifies (when he’s carb free). He cooks a lot too, which helps. In that case I modify (add brown rice or sweet potato side). When he’s inconsistent and it pisses me off I tell him - hey, you’re putting me out here and not holding up your end of the bargain. But I try not to get sucked into the roller coaster of each new trend. I don’t discourage him, I just don’t go along for the ride. These are my coping strategies and they’re imperfect. I can’t change his addiction and I work hard to not take it personally. I’ve suggested counseling for him, and considered it for me, but he isn’t interested and I haven’t prioritized it for myself yet. One thing I will do to inconvenience myself is when he’s willing to exercise I’ll do what it takes to make that happen for him (extra child care responsibility, etc). Good luck, OP. This is a hard path sometimes. [/quote]
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