Reply to Tired of BIL’s awkward comments

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]“You know what? I admire the heck out of your wife. She has a great career and is really good at what she does.” Or “your wife is wonderful. I couldn’t do what she does, x, y, or z.”
After multiple comments, you can be blunt; “that’s very disrespectful and way off base.”[/quote]

This but the other way around: FIRST, the very next time he does it you AND your husband say "That's disrespectful of SIL Sally and way off base." "Yeah, bro, you're always comparing Jill to Sally. Sally is great at what she does and we admire her."

If both you and DH do this as a united front and have your script prepared and ready to say to him, it will startle him so much he may shut up. And it will show SIL that you and DH are not part of her idiot husband's mean and petty dynamic. Do this IN FRONT of her. I might even add to her in front of him, "Sally, I'm sorry Bill compares us like this."

You can also approach her privately and be frank that you are aware of this whole mess and you feel it's worse, and are not encouraging it. Tell her that your DH, his brother, is going to speak to him directly because you no longer want it to harm the good relationship you want with her.

Then be sure that DH does indeed take his brother aside one on one and slams him hard for being a total a$$ in front of everyone. DH needs to tell BIL that both DH and you will leave the next time he starts the comparisons. And on a kinder note, maybe BIL has some other issue that makes him such a jerk and it manifests this way, especially if it's getting worse. I'd bet the marriage is in trouble. But BIL needs to hear very, very clearly and without mincing words that DH and you won't tolerate this. BIL is likely to say, "But I am not really doing it that much! You're exaggerating" etc. Don't let him pull that stunt.[/quote]

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