Reply to If your child with SN was bullied by another child did the parents apologize?

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Reply to "If your child with SN was bullied by another child did the parents apologize?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Interesting contrast between this thread and the other active thread:

Here:  They're assholes, they should apologize (but they may not know your child).

Other thread:  I am not discussing my child at all!  [/quote]

FWIW, I am the special needs parent on the other thread who doesn't discuss my kid with other parents (unless they also have SN kids too or I know/trust them.)  If my child were being bullied I would not expect an apology from other parents because I know that apologies are completely useless.  I would expect the SCHOOL to address the issue.  [b]I would love it if the other parents approached me collaboratively to discuss ways to address bullying [/b]and especially to try to get more resources from the school, but I understand that is not likely to happen, so I would not expect it.  [/quote]

So you'd be happy to discuss their child's bullying, but not your own child's behavior?  [/quote]

If it was my SN kid's behavior? I might be willing with the right parent in the right setting to talk about it if I thought it was in any ways going to be productive. But that's rare and never happened in my experience.  In fact the opposite is true -- [b]I reached out with apologies and got ignored.  So that was that.[/b]

My ultimate point is that if my kid has a problem (or is causing a problem) in school, I expect the school to address it.  [b]Beefs or ritualistic apologies between parents aren't going to help[/b].  [/quote]

DP.  I'm not sure how you can say that.  Offering an apology doesn't have to lead to anything more, it can be an end in itself.  And it may help the other child or parent.  I wouldn't write off a ritualistic apology simply because you saw no benefit from it.  That seems to be what OP is looking for, at least.  [/quote]

I honestly think apologies do very little for anyone except maybe the offended parents in the moment.  An apology (especially if forced or offered out of shame) does nothing to actually help the parent address the child's behavior.  Frankly apologies may help because it makes the other parent feel vindicated to see how horrified I feel ... and tbh sometimes I don't feel like I need to do that "emotional labor." [/quote]

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