Reply to SO: Thoughts on sister and her DH buying a house with my mother?

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Reply to "SO: Thoughts on sister and her DH buying a house with my mother?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here.  I think you’re all being a bit harsh, especially since I noted in my original posting that we’d welcome having our mother move in with us — fully free of charge.

And I don’t actually know that my mother wants to move in with my sister; I do know my sister has proposed it and is trying to convince her.

It’s not crazy or selfish for me to wonder what might happen to my mother’s assets when she dies if all of the money is tied up in a shared property my sister is living in.

My father repeatedly underscored his desire for all assets to be inherited equally among his kids.  And I for one have SN kids who may not be able to support themselves as adults.  So wondering what implications such an arrangement might have is not just borne of selfishness.

I would be perfectly fine having my sister move in to my mother’s three bedroom apartment, free of charge.[/quote]

This is not complicated op.  Your mom does not want to live in dc and you presumably do not want to live in New York.  Since your sister does live in New York and is willing to care for your mom, the two of them get to decide what works best for them.  It also is not uncommon for parents to favor the child who cares for them in their old age in the way their assets are divided after death.  Your sister will be making some serious sacrifices moving in with and caring for your mom, even if she also receives some financial benefit.

Your and your husband are responsible for your children, not your mom or sister.[/quote]

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