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[quote=Anonymous]It’s hard, OP, because you’re nervous for your DS and because he’s growing up. It’s probably extra hard for you because the expectations are so different from what you experienced at his age. What I love about your post, though, is that it’s clear that you want to get this right. You realize that, while it’s hard for you, it’s necessary, too.

Start with something small. Be excited for your DS. He successfully asked a girl to homecoming. It’s hard for boys to find the courage to ask someone, but your DS did and the girl said yes. He probably got a little rush from the success, and it undoubtedly helped boost his confidence. Those are great things!

When my oldest DS started “liking” girls in fifth grade, I started training myself to respond in an honest but measured way so that, as he got older, he’d continue to be comfortable talking with me about girls and relationships. I was always careful not to take away his feeing of agency even if I didn’t like a particular girl. It really paid off - he’s in high school now, and he still comes to me for advice and just to talk. I’ve noticed that the subtle message I worked for years to impart - find someone who respects you and herself, someone with similar goals, someone who makes you laugh and is fun to talk to - seems to have stuck. Maybe he would have made those choices anyway, but I like to think my guidance helped.

You’re setting the stage for your relationship with him for the rest of his life based on how you handle this. [/quote]

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