Reply to Does a bad first year spell doom for your marriage ?

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[quote=Anonymous]I think the answer is a big "it depends." The first year of marriage can be rough, especially if you didn't live together first (which isn't a judgment on living together or not; we didn't and I don't regret it). The thrill and excitement of planning and anticipating the wedding is over, and now you're settling in to regular life together, including adjusting to new roles, potentially new expectations of each other, etc. That can create conflict. I think one thing to think about is whether you've gotten better over the past year at resolving conflict when it arises. Managing conflict in a healthy way is really important for a good marriage, so if you can look back and honestly say, "Yes, we've learned a lot about how to disagree cooperatively and fight fairly," then your first year was really productive toward a happy marriage. If, on the other hand, you look back at the year and think, "No, we're still fighting about the same stuff and if anything we seem to be getting more entrenched in respective sides," that's a problem and worth taking to a marriage counselor for some help.[/quote]

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