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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Good gracious, no. My father is an emotionally abusive jerk, and my husband is a joy and a delight. That said, I started dating him when I was 19 and i would have been easy prey for a monster, but I lucked into a really good person and now I’m strong enough I wouldn’t stand someone treating me the way my dad treated me and still treats my mom. [/quote]

That’s great to hear. I usually see girls who were mistreated by their fathers or saw their mothers being mistreated, ended up with abusive spouses. It’s a vicious cycle. You seem fortunate to have a wonderful husband.

Out of curiousity, does your husband see you as ‘messed up’ due to your upbringing and does it affect your relationship with your husband? Or are you completely unaffected by witnessing your parents disastrous marriage?[/quote]

I don’t think he sees me as messed up by that, although I definitely have my issues, and sometimes I have to say “look, you’re not doing anything wrong but it’s really reminding me of how my dad would get when he was mad about something so it’s super stressing me out.” My sister gets the same way with her husband — I suspect her husband and my DH would have a lot to talk about if they ever compared notes. FWIW, we see my dad a couple times a year and he’s pretty pleasant to be around when I’m not under his roof. We’re totally no contact with DH’s father. [/quote]

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