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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, [b]your marriage sounds ripe for serious couples counseling with the focus on communication issues[/b]. You can try leaving him as a PP did, and clearly that worked for her, but for some couples it could backfire and end up in a permanent split.

I'd sit down alone and think very hard about why you married him and what his positives are. That might help you see whether the communication issue is the sole or main problem or if more is going on. Tell him that you both (not just him) have a problem that needs a Doctor the same way you'd see a doctor if one of you were sick. If he refuses and cannot be objective enough even to see the problem, go to counseling or therapy on your own ASAP. But this may be something where you and he can learn to change the dynamic if you both will work with a professional. And do frame it as both of you getting help, not just him. 
[/quote]

+1 We were not good at fighting (different communication styles, scorekeeping on both sides, bringing up everything we had been upset about in the last 6 months if anything came to a head) and did couples counseling before marriage.  For a while we used it intensively -- the scripts and language tools and different bags of tricks for defusing situations -- but after 6 months or so we simply stopped fighting.  Now if one of us gets upset it's handled pretty much immediately because the goal is getting back to a good place and not being right or winning (on both sides).

When the counselor was giving us scenarios and scripts to use it felt incredibly hokey to me, but the way it has changed our dynamic (which was never toxic to begin with) has been really remarkable.  [/quote]

Can you pls name your counselor?? Thanks[/quote]

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