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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. I think my biggest conundrum is the wasting of my youth. I don’t want more kids, so it’s not the fertility thing, but there is a huge difference between 38 and 48 when re-entering the dating market. If I wait until my late 40s to see where this takes me and it doesn’t..... well.... But I also imagine that my next ten years are going to be super busy with my young kids growing up and typical parenting things too. I never planned to be doing those things alone (or should I say uncoupled?), but I am now and that is life. The idea of fitting in someone who is not him seems daunting. He’s pretty much the gold standard for me now.

Like him, I was in an abusive relationship. My divorce was rather high conflict. He looks at what I went through and sees it as even more of a cautionary tale. Where I got to my breaking point and knew I had to get out of my situation for me and my kids, all he sees is that if he tries that his wife will drag his his kids front and center through court battles for the next ten years. He thinks that by keeping to some measure of stays quo in the home he can keep the heat on him and keep the kids world relatively stable. I’m not going to go into their relationship here, but they do not have a good relationship. He and I have talked a lot about modeling good relationships for our kids and he knows what his kids are seeing isn’t good but he maintains that this is his best way to protect them every day. [/quote]

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