Reply to Stepdaughter wants to move in full time

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Reply to "Stepdaughter wants to move in full time"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]All of you PPs are dramatic. OP married with the knowledge that her DH and her would only have the DD some of the time. It's called joint custody. The DD moving in full time is not an option unless she is being abused. Which she isn't. They should speak to the mom about her treatment of the daughter. This isn't OP's problem. [/quote]

But even with joint custody, things can change.  You are still 100% a parent even if you have custody 50% of the time.  Should your child have a major issue where a change in custody arrangements makes sense or something happens with the ex, you have to be prepared that you could end up with more custody.

I think if the DH isn’t spoiling his dd now, if she is being overly dramatic, things will calm down and she will want to go back to mom for more time. If he is spoiling her and you fundamentally don’t ageee with how he parents, that is actually the bigger issue. I tried to think of legitmate reasons my pre-teen kids get  restrictions  in place in the house and typically it has to do with not being responsible/consequence.  Like if they eat food in the living room and leave out cups and plate they lose the privilege to eat there rather than the kitchen.  If they’ve lied about completing homework and failed the quiz, they may need to spend the weekend doing the homework/reading that was skipped and I quiz them so getting the bad grade didn’t get them out of the initial work plus they have to bring up their grade.  If there are the same level  of expectations in both households, then I would lean towards either dd needs time to adjust or there really is an issue because otherwise what is she gaining by going to dad full time when he is also remarried?[/quote]

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