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[quote=Anonymous]FWIW, OP, in terms of the chronic pain/social withdrawal, etc., I could be your friend.  In fact, until I got to the part about her asking you to come visit with your newborn -- to a hospital, no less -- I thought maybe you WERE writing about me.

Here's the thing:  chronic pain sucks.  It destroys friendships -- but at least in my case and other patients I know, I don't expect my friends to put up with the nightmares that the conditions cause (including frequent cancellations, not great company, etc.) and I certainly don't expect my friends to drop everything or even anything for me.  If I am in an acute crisis, perhaps I'd reach out, but never to someone in your situation for I would have wanted you to take care of the baby and your DH and you first.

One more thing:  as someone who's in constant/chronic pain, I cannot imagine spending the amount of emotional energy your friend has spent worrying herself and you on perceived slights and dynamics.  I really cannot.  I am so sorry she is feeling so badly that she's put so much emphasis on the friendship (maybe she feels like since she can't control the pain she'll try and control the friendship?).  Regardless, it's not healthy for her or for you, and again I am really sorry.

As others said, perhaps call her or drop her a note every month.  See if she responds.  If she doesn't, I'd let it go.  I know it's sad.  I know it's hard.  But I also know there's nothing you can do to change this, and your own energies really do belong to your family now.

Hang in there.[/quote]

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