Reply to Long-term relationship with a guy with 15 years of alimony payments

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[quote=Anonymous]Two of my best friends married men who had alimony and/or child support payment obligations for years following their marriage.

For one couple, it's resulted in extensive court battles because the ex-wife claimed she wasn't in another live-in relationship, but was, and when she got caught out on that then claimed that her new man can only contribute $500/month to their household, and so on and so on. Honestly I look at my friend struggle with this and I'm not sure it's worth it. The investigators and the lawyers and all - it's a lot of money and a lot of stress. I like her husband, very much but they go through a lot in relation to this, and as someone mentioned upthread, she can't enjoy her own success financially (eg take a nice vacation with her husband) as often as she might like because she'll have to pay for him, too. They also can't buy a home because if it, and they're not young kids at 41 and 49.

The other woman got a very extensive prenup, so much so that the first three lawyers her husband spoke to wouldn't recommend he sign off on it. She was in a slightly different financial position from the first friend though - her actual  income is lower  but she had more assets as she had bought property early and cheap, and had some inheritance.. For her, she doesn't mind subsidizing his living costs as much, as she already owned her home before meeting him (not outught, but close, she had less than 5 years to go on the mortgage). For her, it was more making sure that he was entitled to very little of what she had coming into the marriage in the event that they divorce. They seem less stressed about it all than the first couple.

In a nutshell, every situation is different but I recommend you get the specifics of his sooner rather than later so you're making an informed decision.[/quote]

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