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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Call her once every 2 weeks. Talk for 20minutes. See how that goes. If it's pleasant, start seeing each other, say, every 2 weeks for an hour or two. Do not rely on each other for emergencies or deeply emotional sharing --- neither of you can handle that right now --- it's not appropriate for the amount either of you can invest. Life gets in the way. It should. That's what happens in an emotionally healthy life[/quote]

I'm this poster and I thought I'd add, if you're uncomfortable w/2 week contact, drop it to monthly or less frequent than that, a couple times a year. If the relationship is remains uncomfortable long term, then just a holiday card. It's good to leave the door open. I don't think there is anyone in my past where I can't manage some degree of contact. Put your "schedule" of contact with this person on the calendar, it's a "to do", and in between forget about it.[/quote]

New poster and I agree with PP here, especially on leaving the door open.

The "dump her" posts are very common on DCUM whenever questions like yours come up, OP, but those responses have zero consideration for the reality that even people who are chronically ill or demanding or annoying can be a friend. You have long history with her though it sounds like life has gotten in the way, which is normal.

But if her demanding ways toward you are a fairly recent change and she wasn't like this for most of your time as friends, in you shoes I'd be wondering: Is this really her talking -- or is it her illness? Is she actually not getting much emotional support from her husband so she's unreasonably acting out and grasping for support elsewhere, and overreacting when she doesn't feel she gets it?

I am not excusing her behavior, just saying that there may be more going on than she is telling you, particularly if she became so needy/angry only after she started dealing with a chronic condition. Have you considered that?

I would ramp back the texts etc. and do as the PP suggests, contacting once every two weeks but doing so consistently.

Have you offered to see her, just the two of you, maybe doing an activity you know she likes and would find distracting? Your spouse can spend time with your child while you actually see your friend. That's healthy for you, even if things are idyllic at home with your DC and DH.  And doing an activity with your friend may be more comfortable than meeting up and expecting some long, deep, heart-to-heart talk at this point. [/quote]

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