Reply to Do expect your kids to obey you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It depends what you mean by expect.

I don’t expect my kids to never protest my rules. They are kids, it’s what they do.

I don’t expect my kids to follow rules that I don’t enforce 100% of the time. If I sometimes allow it and sometimes don’t, I can’t be surprised if they are confused and don’t follow.

I expect that children’s brains aren’t fully formed and they don’t have the experience an adult has, so they often aren’t capable of making good choices. It’s my job to make those choices for now and to teach them how to make those choices in the future.

I do expect that *I* will make appropriate rules with good reasoning behind them, and that I will enforce them at all times. I also expect of myself that if my child isn’t obeying, it is up to me to figure out why and what I can do to fix the problem.

A lot of parents probably think I’m overly strict. We have strict rules- you clean up after yourself immediately (toys, dishes, etc), you eat the food that is served and won’t get a snack later, we don’t do warnings (eg saying “stop doing XYZ” several times without actually enforcing it). But, I also use way more positive reinforcement than any other parent I know. I rarely have to use punishment. I’ve never had to raise my voice or use physical punishment. If my kids throw a fit, I don’t get emotional, I just stay cool and don’t give in.

I was a dog trainer for years before having kids, and I think people believe you either need to punish all the time (mean), or you need to let your dog/kid/whoever do whatever they want (nice), when you don’t need to do either. 
[/quote]

Yes this. [/quote]

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