Reply to Marriage dynamics - one vs two income households

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[quote=Anonymous]This completely depends on your relationship and your personalities.

Just know that things that wear you out now will not get easier with an infant/toddler/kids. You won't suddenly have more time until they are in school full time. In fact, if you are staying home as the primary care giver of a breastfed infant, you will have far less time and less will get done in the first year at least. Many WOHMs will tell you that it was a relief to get back to work after maternity leave and hand over the minute to minute minutia to a nanny.

But, if he doesn't want you to stay at home, he is likely to have unreasonable expectations of the reality of your situation with an infant anyway. The balance works well when the working spouse understands all the things they don't have to do now that one spouse is at home. But he already expects that of you while you are working. So it will be worse if you aren't, and I fear he'll probably never come to appreciate how much easier it makes his life.

I would say work for a year or so and get him into the routine of having to do day care runs, doctors appointments, sick days, cut the check for child care, etc., so he'll appreciate when he no longer has to do that. But you post makes it seem like he won't do that anyway.[/quote]

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