Reply to DH issue, advice please

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, have him make the appt in January NOW.  Hold him to his word.  This is completely normal, BTW.  Lots of men suffer from this.

IUI may be a good option for you.  You can try it at-home-style.  Look up the Instead soft cup method a PP mentioned.  He does his thing into that, you put it inside of you.  It can work, but I'd only do it a few months before moving on to monitored IUI.  I had a friend with this issue and IUI didn't work for them, but that's because she also had issues.  They have a baby now from IVF.

Are you tracking your cycles to that you know when you ovulate?  My other advice is to NEVER tell him when you are ovulating.  [/quote]

+1.  I agree with all of this.  Performance anxiety is surprisingly common in the (in)fertility communities I'm a part of.  The pressure gets to him and he can't perform.  Like PP said, don't tell him when you're ovulating (it increases the pressure) and make sure you initiate often enough that he doesn't connect initiation with ovulation.  And try the porn!  If that doesn't help, then try the instead cups (cheap and easy) or one of the home IUI kits like Stork, Mosie Baby, etc. (more expensive, but more "official" if you prefer that).  Make sure he doesn't use regular lube or lotion if you go the cup/kit route - only a fertility friendly lube like Preseed or baby oil.  If he's game for trying those methods, you'll know he really wants a baby and it's just performance anxiety.  If he's resistant, then maybe you need to have another conversation.[/quote]

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