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Eldercare
Reply to "How common is this scenario dealing with elderly parents?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Stop doing stuff for them if it exhausts you. They are adults, let them solve their own problems. You don't have to cut them off forever, just take a break to recharge your batteries. My parents are in assisted living, and every once in a while (when they're really irritating me) I stop calling/visiting for a week or so.[/quote] [b]This is perfect advice if you want them to end up dying on the floor [/b]or in a major financial emergency, such as their insurance lapsing because they forgot to pay the bill. Assisted living provides NO assistance other than meals (often just one per day) and occasional cleaning, on average. Ask your siblings to do the daily phone check ins and only call you when something needs doing. Ask them to keep notes. Also ask them to take over bill paying and bookkeeping, which can easily be done online or by having bills mailed to them. I feel you. I dealt with this for years. Your parents appreciate you and realize you are shouldering the burden but its hard for them to express this as they feel guilty and disempowered. Daily calls by your siblings will help as siblings will get sick of the crankiness and have a better idea what you're dealing with. It will give you some days with no contact. (My mom nearly died on the floor of her expensive assisted living after breaking her collarbone and being stuck in place for more than 24 hours, covered in her own filth as she tried to inch her way to the call cord. No one heard her shouts for help). [/quote] That's what wearing a call button is for. Seriously. No one can be there every minute of every day making sure everything is all right, and it's not fair to throw that out as a guilt trip on the OP. We had a family friend who spent the night on the floor, and only after that agreed to wear a device where she could press a button and call for help.[/quote]
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