Reply to 3 year old son constantly hurts little brother

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I agree you need time outs. My almost 3 year old DD has had bouts of violence towards 1 yr old DS. Immediate time out, length depending on the severity of the incident.

She loves her brother but has a very hard time regulating her emotions and jealousy. But by now she KNOWS she doesn't like time out and she KNOWS she doesn't like it when mommy and daddy are very upset at her for being mean.

To echo some other posters, do you do NOTHING when these incidents happen? I have had a couple occasions where I have kind of freaked out DD because she did something inadvertantly fairly dangerous (like push towards stairs) and I just instinctively slapped her wrist away and grabbed the baby up protectively. Not even intending to punish just like, in fear. And she remembers those and she has kind of internalized the more dangerous things herself and now warns me if DS is edging towards it. Afterwards I'll sit down with her and explain that that was mean, "Don't do that, baby larlo could have been very hurt. Remember last week when you fell and got a big ouchy? Larlo would have gotten an ouchy like that and maybe would have gone to the doctor and we would all be very sad." That kind of thing. You have to explain it to them, they don't understand it on their own.

As we have enforced consequences and had these conversations (over and over and over and over for the last 6 months) she has also gotten more verbal about her own needs and we have respected them. IE sometimes she will say to me, 'Mommy carry baby larlo I am playing right now' to be like, get him out of my hair and I'll do it because she learned to ask nicely.

Good luck OP, but start being upset, kids learn what is acceptable by how people react. So react![/quote]

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