Reply to Puberty turned my kid into a monster

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Reply to "Puberty turned my kid into a monster"

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[quote=Anonymous]Most important thing is to keep the communication going between you and your daughter.  Sometimes this means turning a blind eye to bad behavior.  You don't have to jump on everything all the time, and not right when it happens.  If she screams a name at you and throws a phone, she's out of control.  That's not the time to try to reason with her.  Stay calm yourself and address it later when things calm down.  Do things with her that are fun and without an agenda (if you try to bring up difficult topics everytime you are alone she won't want to be with you at all).  Don't forget humor-- that can help bring down the level of tension.

My advice is to pick your battles.  If you go DEFCON 1 on every thing you'll have nowhere to go if things escalate.

I do agree with looking for issues of safety and health, such as substance abuse and suicidal thoughts/anxiety/depression. Stay on top of those things.  Medication and/or therapy can really help.

Another book to try is Wendy Mogel's "The Blessing of a B-".  It emphasizes the challenge of accepting your children as they are.  They are difficult and sometimes difficult to love.  This book understands that and helps you keep the relationship going with your children during these times.

Finally, find a support group-- parents of teens, PEP training class, something.  Share your struggles with other parents and get their wisdom/insights.

Good luck!

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