Reply to boring conversations with DH

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Get him the book "Extreme Ownership". It's about dealing with problems in the workplace in a productive, positive way. Even better, get him to listen to the author's podcast, he talks about a lot of work-specific issues.

Also, listen to him vent about work some. He probably needs to just say things out loud to work through them mentally and emotionally. Set a time of 15-20 minutes, sit down with him, and listen with 100% of your attention (no tv, phones, etc). The higher quality may trump his need for quantity. [/quote]

OP, if you're open to advice rather than just wanting to vent--listen to this PP. The advice about actually listening with more real attention (within limits) is excellent. What you view as boring background noise might be your DH trying to work through things, a kind of data download at day's end because he can say things out loud at home that he can't talk about at the office. It's probably not really about his needing you to know all this stuff nor is it about his wanting you to advise him. It's possibly more about his just needing to vent, kind of like how people...vent on DCUM.

Also: Do you and he have some activities you both can do each week? Is there at least a day or two a week when you can do something where you're participating together but are more focused on the activity and can talk about the activity later? A class, a play or other show, a sport or just working out followed by coffee, a regularly scheduled date night if you have kids? In short-- do you and he have new things outside home/jobs/kids that you can discuss? Do YOU have work in which you'd like him to take more interest?

The PP saying that "this is marriage" is giving up. Marriage doesn't have to be all boring conversations about work (or about kid stuff or finances or in-laws). But the two people in a marriage do need to stay connected to whatever mutual interests they share. [/quote]

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