Reply to How do you tell your 7 and 9 year olds their dad is an alcoholic?

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[quote=Anonymous]I would tell them in an age-appropriate, matter-of-fact way and try to take any blame or emotion out of it.

My dad went to rehab when I was around 6, and my parents told me he had to go away for work. I definitely remember it as a traumatic time and knew that my parents weren't telling the truth. It is actually one of my most vivid memories from childhood.

I found out the real story by accident - I was looking for a book to read in my dad's office and found his AA big book, signed by people he had gone to rehab with. I also found a narcotics anonymous book. I was probably about 13. This was pretty traumatic and upsetting and had me questioning a lot of things. It would have been better if my parents had been honest about it earlier on.

As an adult, I get why they were secretive. I love my dad and I got over it. And he has been sober for 27 years! But I wish that they had been honest with me at the time because I think it would have avoided a lot of hurt and confusion. And the secrecy about my family's history of addiction was not great as my brothers and I grew up and developed our own relationship with alcohol.. though that's a different topic. 
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