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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lol at all the holier than thous picking on OP for being honest about noticing and wanting the nicer things, when 99% of them are always on this board lamenting how you can barely get by and scrape into the middle class at 350k.[/quote]

No one is picking on OP for wanting to make money and have nice things.

But in the same post she goes on to diss her friend "at 40...who the hell wants to live in a crummy ass Harlem building..."

That's not cool or being a friend.[/quote]

I imagine she's reacting like that because her friend is taking the tone of -- what kind of idiot would spend $300 on a coat or a hotel room.[/quote]

Well that's kind of my point in my previous post - they are both guilty of the same behavior. Friends talk it out.[/quote]

Right, but how does one talk this out and what kind of resolution do you get (I'm the MD Phd that posted earlier). What's OP supposed to say? I only want to show at Bergdorf and stay at the Ritz, how come you're okay with Marshalls and the Holiday Inn? And what is friend supposed to say -- uh because I've shopped at Marshalls and stayed at the Holiday Inn my whole life and I've turned out okay?[/quote]

PP here - you mean how would I try to start the conversation? If I were in OPs shoes I would do some honest self-reflection first. And then I would in turn be as honest with my friend that I could be:

"We've been friends for a long time. I love you and I value our friendship. Lately though I feel that you've been judging me for the fact that I do like nicer material things - and perhaps I've judged you as well. I'd like to clear the air. I'd like us to remain close but not have this weird tension between us if that's possible. I value you as you are and I'd like for you to do the same. I promise to be more mindful of talking about material things if you promise not to rain on every comment I make."

Just a thought.[/quote]

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