Reply to Spinoff - Kids invited to everything but the reception

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is it a financial hardship for you to attend? Then either don't go, or just send your husband. This is FINE.

Is it not a financial hardship and you're just upset about the reception non-invite? Then think ahead: in 10 years, would you rather be a little salty about an event where your kids only participated in 50% of it, or would you rather not have gone and made your point? If you choose the former, make sure you don't tell your kids they are missing a big party, and make it sound like they are having a grand old time at the other festivities. Honestly, they won't know a big difference and you can tell them they're gonna go swim with a sitter while you go to boring grown-up stuff.

It's rude, but who gets to go to the reception is not in your hands anymore. You just have to make a decision about what you'll participate in. [/quote]

^ You know what? I just read that your girls are 3, 6, and 10. I have a 9 yo and he and I would be pretty hurt if this happened. Two of your kids are old enough to understand wedding = cake and be sad (the 10 yo actually hurt) if they are not present. So I'd have you or your DH present it to BIL one more time in those terms: "Hey BIL, we have a really awkward situation here and I don't want to bother you, but I'm just gonna come out with it. Our oldest two girls, and the oldest in particular, understands what weddings are and knowing her, she is going to be really hurt if she is not allowed to come to the reception at all. Is is possible to have them sit through dinner, or just come for cake? I hope you would consider this. We can pay for them or for a sitter to accompany them. If not, we respect your wishes, but I might have to go spend the evening with them to soften the blow. Again, sorry to bother you with something that must seem small but it's not that small to the kids or us. Let me know."[/quote]

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