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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I was in a similar situation and had to go through a big thought process about whether I was being a fool by staying.

There are very strong societal pressures on women to get the right labels as a matter of self-respect.  Pressure to get married so that it's legitimate and you're not being taken advantage of, you're now the cow being milked for free, etc.  People who are completely miserable in their own marriages will condemn non-married people for not being married.

There is no "right" answer to whether or not YOU want to get married.  If actual marriage is important to you there is nothing wrong with that.  You have the right to determine what parameters are important to you.  But if you do want to be married, you owe it to yourself and to your BF to be as honest as he's been with you and just move on, wishing him the best.

If you are GENUINELY happy with what he offers you -- continue and enjoy.

In my case, I ultimately wanted to live together and that was important to me.  I wasn't sure if BF would agree (it also meant blending families in our case) and I was prepared to thank him for everything we'd had to date but move on.  By the time this happened, he was ready to move in and we loved it.

At the time I did not want to get married (and he definitely did not).  Fast forward a few years of living together and I was shocked when he proposed.  It just felt right. I was actually not sure I wanted to do it and after some time, realized it was just a lot of fears about it, not actually not wanting it.  So we got married.  Been very happily married for years now.

If he's actually been married and divorced more than once, though, I think he's wise to realize it's not for him.  And that's OK.  And as long as day-to-day he's meeting your needs, who cares about the labels.
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