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[quote=Anonymous]I held on for far too long before divorcing. I thought it was unfair to the kids to "destroy the family" over this issue.  I thought the rest of our life worked reasonably well.

It just wasn't true. Ex-DH was not a true partner and being roommates who tried to parent together wasn't really happening so well either.  What was true was that he did not care about my opinions on things (like wanting intimacy) because he was incapable of connecting and being a partner to a level that's healthy.

I divorced thinking I'd rather be alone than in that situation and did not assume I would remarry.

I ended up remarrying and am happier than I ever could have imagined.  I worked on myself during and after the first marriage and found that there are other healthy people out there (while imperfect) who are ready to go all in and go at it.  Current DH and I have been together quite a few years and are still lusty like hell.  It's amazing.  I can't believe I settled for less.

It's not just the orgasms, as someone else posted. It's the intimacy and the feeling valued and connected.

The kids hopefully have no idea about the sex, but I'm sure they can see the difference in the kind of relationship we have vs what I had with their father.  This is the kind of relationship I want to model for them.  I would never want them to have the kind of marriage I had before.[/quote]

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