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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Single mom here, late 40s with an elementary-aged kid. I make enough money, attractive but could lose a few pounds.

I met a man 2.5 years ago on Match, we hit it off and have been inseparable ever since. He and my DD get along fabulously, we get along great. We [b]practically[/b] live together, have vacationed together and [b]basically[/b] operate like a family unit. We occasionally argue, but not often.

Here is the rub. He has been married twice and never wants to get married again. Ever. He will not commit. He said he will never be DD's step dad (her dad is in the picture). He is my boyfriend even though we [b]act[/b] like partners in life. He is wonderful to me and DD in every way and I have never been with someone so thoughtful. No one has ever treated me this well. People [b]mistake[/b] him for DD's dad because they are so comfortable with eachother.

Is this doomed to fail? I would be willing to get married, someday, but not yet. I guess he just wants to be able to leave easily if he gets sick of me or things go south. His divorces were ugly and extremely costly. I don't need his money, I have my own and we would both sign a prenup if it were to ever happen.[/quote]

See the above bolded. This is you trying to convince yourself this thing with this guy is more than it really is. He told you he is not committed and doesn't want to be a stepdad. You keep thinking the two of you are practically married and a family unit. You love him for life. He loves you for now. You guys are in two totally different mental spaces. When, not if, this man leaves, you will be devastated.

He is being ambivalent about his feelings and this relationship, and so are you. Google it. Of course you haven't argued much, why would you when you're both ambivalent and just maintaining the status quo.

Bottom line is you're not getting the commitment you feel you need to be secure in a relationship with this man. You will never get that commitment from him. If you are okay with that, then stay. But if you choose to stay with Mr. ambivalent, you cannot keep expecting him to suddenly turn into Mr. Forever when he has told you he doesn't want that role in your life.[/quote]

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