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[quote=Anonymous]OP your family sounds so similar to mine. It’s a sad and stressful situation. Stand firm on not allowing your kids to go. It’s your decision, and it’s a good and healthy decision.

Now you need to reflect on your mom’s actions. I’m sure she’s doing better by your kids than she did by you as far as exposing anyone to dysfunction goes. However, she’s showing you that she wants to have her grandkids meet the rest of her family. Maybe she wants to show them off, or maybe someone’s been asking about them and she wants to please that person. Either way, are you sure she won’t just go without asking next time? Maybe not a wedding but lunch with Auntie Molester’s Wife or Cousin Alcoholic. “But I was there the whole tim so nothing could’ve happened.”

That’s what my mom did. I’ve been estranged from my divorced grandparents (and most of my extended family) for years. They were abusive to my mom and looked the other way when a family member sexually abused her as a child. One is an alcoholic chain smoker. They’re both raging racists. I made it clear when my kids were little that my grandparents were not to meet my children. We just went round and round with my mom who was upset that my sister wouldn’t invite them to her wedding, and my mom was shocked that I supported her decision. I reminded her then that they’re not even allowed to be around my kids, so why would I want them at the wedding either. The next time my kids visited her, she took them to run an errand and drop something off at her mom’s house and let her meet my kids. Then she felt like it would be unfair for her not to give equal time to my grandfather so she took them to visit him. My parents are not allowed unsupervised access to my children anymore. [/quote]

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