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[quote=Anonymous]I think you're fine OP.  I don't think you should be surprised at your mother's reaction, and maybe in hindsight you could have tempered how you delivered the message.  But I also think it's fine for you to decide you're not going to shirk away from being clear about the boundaries you set for your kids.

I have a lot of extended family dysfunction also so I fully understand having to make the kinds of decisions you made here.  I have found becoming a mother to be one of the most helpful and clarifying things for me in establishing healthy boundaries.  I am crystal clear on not wanting to subject my children to the dynamics I experienced growing up.  I have zero guilt about that clarity and it is very helpful to me when I'm torn by family allegiances, guilt trips, emotional reactions, etc...

I do try to avoid overt conflict when necessary, but my role and job as a mom trumps everything else.  So you have my unqualified support for your the right thing for your kids.  Good for you.

Obviously, you won't always be able to shelter your kids from their extended family, but you can manage that exposure and wait until they're old enough for appropriate conversation around it.[/quote]

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