Reply to Very Long Engagements

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]But longer engagements are a relatively new thing.  I'm thinking of acquaintances and coworkers for whom " getting engaged " doesn't mean getting married or even planning a wedding. It's a chance to formalize their relationship and use fiancé/fiancée. There may or may not be any wedding planning.[/quote]

This. When couples get engaged and are actually planning a wedding and then you get a save the date for 2 yrs out -- I assume it's a venue/scheduling issue. In other parts of the country I've also seen it be a financial issue (couple needs the time to save for the wedding they want) and/or a he/she finishes school in 2 yrs so we'll get married right after graduation issue; less of an issue in the northeast where people don't get married as young. I don't give any of these things a passing thought -- the venue of your dreams or your financial or school/career planning is different for every couple.

But like the PP in the last 3-4 years, I've seen a half dozen couples who are/have been engaged for 3+ years already and there appears to be no planning. No venue. No specific date -- more like, we're thinking summer 2021. I knew one that was long distance and there seemed to be no push by either person to figure out who would move, switch jobs, or whether they'd both move to a new location etc. I don't consider it any of my business, but I feel like in those instances it may be a desire to consider each other exclusive, long term, more than just bf/gf, but no desire to formalize it with a marriage.[/quote]

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