Reply to DW had a panic attack, cancelled her plane ticket and is refusing to go on a planned holiday.

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Reply to "DW had a panic attack, cancelled her plane ticket and is refusing to go on a planned holiday. "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Could the weight be a red herring? Is she anxious about leaving for other reasons? Are you leaving kids behind? Is she anxious about taking time off work? I hate to say it, but could there be an AP she wouldn’t be able to communicate with on the trip? Anything beside her body image?[/quote]

No. I just tried talking to her again.

She said she’s talked about it with the therapist and nothing helps or changes that all she sees is her “bad habits” looking back at her in the mirror.

[b]She’s really unwilling to go. I don’t know what to do. [/b]She’s talked with her doctor about medication changes and her doctor told her med changes will not stop the intrusive thoughts.

She says she will just wear a mumu and is inconsolable. [/quote]

So don't go.

Is she willing to have you attend a therapy session with her, or to go to separate couples counselling / family therapy? Put your time, money, and creative energy to making that happen instead.[/quote]

This was my writing.

If she refuses to engage with you in therapy, I think the best option is to just go on with the vacation without her. Be supportive, but don't twist your life entirely around her disorder, and do have what fun she can. Same thing if she goes but refuses to leave the hotel room: "Honey, I love you, and I'm heading off to the beach. I hope you find something to do that you like, and I look forward to seeing you at dinner."

Honestly, if she wants mroe than that, do it in therapy. There is precious little hope of not being sucked into the vortex if a spouse has severe mental help problems. You can love thm and be supportive, but you can't fix them. And you don't do them favors by trying to chase an illusory moment when you care enough, or say exactly the right things in the right order. You just have to go on and do your best, and take care of yourself if you stay in the relationship.[/quote]

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