Reply to Should I get a divorce at 55

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[quote=Anonymous]Hi friend - Thanks for opening yourself up to a myriad of answers to your post. I believe the answer for your situation will come from deep within your heart, the one you know is the right thing for you to do. None of us can tell you what to do, but I would like to encourage you to pursue your marriage and not give up.

My guess is that there are whole bunch of issues going on inside your husband's head that he may not have the energy to talk about, or fears there is no solution. But there is always hope, even in the worst of situations. Your husband may not feel that way though, and has already given up trying. But you don't have to lose heart. You can find ways to show you care.

Make a list of all the different ways you can express what marriage means to you. Then pick and choose some that you would like to begin to implement into your daily routine, regardless if he notices or responds to them. You can do simple things like, call him on the phone, or text him, bake his favorite desserts, or cook his favorite meals, meet at the park for a picnic and share a letter you have written to him, watch a movie together, go out for ice-cream - anything that suggests you want to be in his company regardless if he responds.

Choose your words carefully. Speak with kindness and admiration. Ask about his day and engage in meaningful conversation about it if you can. Play music in your home to create a pleasant atmosphere. Buy him a small gift. Send him a card. Ask if you can help him with anything.

I know these might seem so trivial in comparison to the bigger problem you face, but these small acts of kindness will create an environment in your home that speaks of peace and friendship, without him having to offer anything back himself. Maybe after a while, you can approach him, when the timing is right, and ask if he is willing to open his heart to conversation. It might be awkward at first, and make you both shake inside since delicate topics will come up, but when he senses your genuine intentions are to restore and not to divide, he may soften a little bit.

Pray and ask God to help you. He created marriage with a specific plan in mind, and it takes both parties to surrender their hearts to make any progress. 
Do you remember the Bible verse that is often recited at weddings?

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."   1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I promise I will be praying for you too. Feel free to write back if you'd like.[/quote]

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