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[quote=Anonymous]I tend to think that the people who jump on every one who mentions the love languages and tells them that that is “pop psych crap” Probably aren’t that familiar with what the love languages actually are. It’s basically just a more structured way of evaluating what your partner prioritizes and help you to brainstorm ways to express affection that will really resonate.

As an example, my mom and dad fell in love because they  share the love language of physical touch. They ended up divorced because their other to love languages were very different (my mom valued words of affirmation and my dad values gifts).  As a result, my dad would spend a ton of time carefully finding the perfect present for my mom only for her to bitch and complain and he found it incredibly hurtful. Likewise, my mom would go out of her way to fish for compliments and if he didn’t respond the way she wanted,  she would feel hurt and betrayed.

For me, it is helpful to acknowledge that one of my kids also values touch highly and the other one is a gift person. I try to be extra careful to fill both of those needs so that they get the love they want in a way that connects with them. [/quote]

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