Reply to women's invisible labor - anyone had luck getting spouse to take on more of the mental work?

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[quote=Anonymous]My DH forgot to sign up during open enrollment one year. The insurance remained the same, but no flexible spending or dependent care account. SMH, but we lived.

I have learned that some of the things I value are not important to him - things like dry towels, toilet paper and a stocked refrigerator.  I want him to care, but he simply doesn't.

So, a few years ago I decided to only to and arrange the things that are important to me. I no longer buy gifts or cards for his family. I do Christmas cards and he addresses the ones to his friends & family. I plan parties but only for the kids or my girlfriends - not so much couple or family stuff. If I want to see a movie, I'll buy the tickets and arrange everything. I do not buy him anything like clothes or drugstore stuff - he found out about Amazon and CVS.  I started buying a lot more stuff for him to grill. I put it on the counter and tell him that's what's for dinner. I dropped lawn care altogether - I don't care one bit about the yard. He miraculously found time to manage a landscaper.

He works at home a lot, so he 'takes care of' the kids - meaning, he keeps them alive until I get home. They have to fend for themselves where food is concerned. He will stop what he's doing and go drive them places & pick them up when it's needed.

We're approaching 50/50 now and it feels much better.[/quote]

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