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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
You're welcome.

And something for your husband (if you feel like passing it on).  Just like you should try not to compare your children, you should try not to compare your parents.  Everyone has their own comfort levels to what they are willing to do for their adult children or their grandchildren.   Holding them to higher expectations by comparing them to someone else who has different life parameters is not fair and only taints your relationship.  Appreciate them for what they are and what they do without trying to compare what your parents do for you and the kids.  You don't know all of the reasons why they can't make as much effort or commitment for you or your kids, so don't try to judge them.  What you do, is try to do what you can with them and appreciate them for what they do.  Hard stop.
[/quote]
Good observation and goal to work toward. I think what's happening right now is that, especially being a father himself now, DH is starting to really deal with all of his childhood stuff (which we all have). I firmly believe that you have to first at least acknowledge your parents' deficiencies (at least those from your childhood) in order to move on...or you end up stuck in a loop of wondering if it was them who didn't meet all of your needs or if there was something wrong with you for having those needs. And in DH's case, there were some pretty fundamental needs around stability and security that weren't met in his childhood. So maybe this is a blessing in disguise, especially since my mom is able to help us out in the end. But DH is clearly very hurt, and I'm frustrated with ILs.[/quote]

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