Reply to Sister in Law is a jerk. How do I get out of spending time with her?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The other problem is that my husband a couple of years ago borrowed some money with high interest that I didn't know about (to help our family but still he should have been honest) and my mom had to bail us out. We were overspending and I guess he tried to help in his way, but should have been honest with me knowing what the problem was. His family is not used to being honest. I have no idea their take on that situation although they were not involved in helping at all. We almost got divorced over it. I've forgiven him but things have been more tense over the past two years since that happened. If we do get divorced I don't want his family to be involved in coercing anyone. I want it to be our decision to stay together or separate. They are manipulative though.[/quote]

I don't see what that has to do with anything in the current situation, OP. You and your husband have marital problems, but your SIL seems like the type who would definitely mention the money problems if she knew about them, so maybe assume that she does not know about them. If you divorce your husband, expect his family to be exactly as unpleasant as they are now, except you'll have to deal with them less and can be forgiven for not attending family events.

In your situation, I would identify holidays which you cannot skip (Christmas, Thanksgiving) and see them only on those occasions. [/quote]

We only see them twice a year typically. Which is why I'm just wondering if I put up with the behavior for another 10 years before the mom dies. It's only about 6 days a year that we see them. The family knows about the monetary issues. Just saying they are the type of family who blames everyone else except themselves. So in that situation I can just see them blaming me verses their son. They are that type of family that just twists situations in a way to make them come out just fine.[/quote]

I think that I personally could suck it up for 6 days a year to see family, if only because I love my husband and me not going would result in him having to talk about why I wasn't there, likely getting crap for not making me be there and/or marrying me in the first place, etc. I think you should just resign yourself to recognizing that his family is going to take his side, even when he's wrong, and try not to care what they think about you. [/quote]

I don't think they take his side either. They aren't as friendly to him anymore since he married me. Just when pressed they would take his side or be manipulative about a situation. They are really just into themselves and don't think about others. We've never mentioned the money issue. I just have seen them turn many situations in life including ones about me in their favor.[/quote]

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