Reply to How do you keep the peace with ILs who are difficult

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do people still send birthday, mother's day, father's day cards or texts to their in laws? I feel like I should take the high road and be respectful enough to acknowledge these events but then I am hurt when they don't respond to my text or acknowledge receiving a card.  When we send a gift (that I always coordinate), they will text or call DH.

I think I deserve a minimal level of respect as the mother of their grandchild and wife of their son and sometimes debate not allowing my DD to be around them since it makes no sense to have my child be around people who don't show any respect to me.  I haven't gone this far yet, but I feel like they blame me for things they should really blame DH for - not seeing them enough, spending more time with my family, or other perceived slights.[/quote]

What? You are crazy. I don't do any of those things because those are DH's responsibility. I remind him if I remember but his family is his responsibility.

But you want them to acknowledge a card? You are over sensitive. If they blame you for that stuff be mad at DH who is not managing them properly. DH should be stepping in to make sure relations remain alright. But don't become a burden to DH. He should intervene if they are openly disrespectful but if you send him off as your white knight for an unacknowledged card you're going to lose the moral high ground quickly. [/quote]

You are right about the cards, but the texts are not in lieu of DH reaching out to them, but from me as their daughter in law.  Should I not even bother sending my own greeting?[/quote]

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