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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP. Just to clarify my concerns: I'm not worried that XH has a GF and I'm not worried whether DD "loves" her or me more. I'm worried my XH is using the GF as a reason to 1) argue for expanded custody (we have 50/50 currently) and 2) is talking to our child about this ("but you love GF so much, wouldn't you like to see her more?" etc). It would not be the first time XH has "complained" about me being "rigid" and "unreasonable" to DD. I can easily see how the little insinuations will go ("well, your mother won't let new GF and you go to American Girl Doll store for tea because your mother wouldn't give us that weekend," etc.)

I want advice on how to discuss expanded custody with XH. I'm not inclined to do it for any reason--but particularly this reason--but obviously don't want to fan the flames of acrimony. And I want advice about how to talk with DD if she gets put into the middle of this quarrel.[/quote]

Did he actually say anything about expanded custody time? You know that he can't just wish for expanded custody time, he has to go to court to ask for it.  No judge will give him more custody time (by taking it away from you) because there is a GF in the picture.   And you don't have to discuss it with him at all.  You have a custody agreement, and that's the end of it. If he wants more, let him go to court. Don't engage unless you have to.

I wouldn't discuss it with your child at all.  If she says anything or repeats anything your ex told her, just say, this is grown-up business. How old is your daughter? If he presses the issue with your child, I would have my attorney send him a threatening letter about parental alienation. He is not supposed to badmouth you to her. [/quote]

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