Reply to 13 yo & unauthorized charges on our credit card

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Reply to "13 yo & unauthorized charges on our credit card - WWYD?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Kids make mistakes. This is clearly a big one and I'm sure he knows that. From what you describe of his reaction to being found out and his heavy schedule he may be suffering from anxiety and was using the game as an escape. I wouldn't have him write the essay on why it's important to be honest, instead I'd have him do some research on the addicting aspects of video games and gambling (they are very similar in the reward structure and dopamine response in the brain). It would probably help him understand why he felt compelled to steal when he normally would not think of taking money out of your wallet to buy himself candy or toys, etc.

I'm sure other parents will come on here and suggest you lay down the law (and that I'm excusing his behavior), but I think turning this into some self-reflective research might do better in the long run.

Haven't you or your DH gotten caught up in something and ended up spending way more money than you had intended? I have.[/quote]

My god, the coddling and excuse making!  [/quote]

Yes it absolutely is! But that doesn't mean it isn't the right tact to take. You know why? Because he is 13. He is just starting the process of figuring out who he is as a person. He is just starting to listen to his friends more than his parents. And he already knows what he did was beyond the pale even if he acts like it was no big deal. I'm certainly not saying he shouldn't be responsible for his actions or that he needs to be monitored or protected more online (through whatever means necessary). But he does need to know that despite making a mistake he is not a bad kid. If you take all of his stuff away, make him work the roughly 600 hours it would take to make that money back (even if that is possible at 13 which I highly doubt), write an essay about why he is a bad person for not being honest, you will lose him. And the next time he needs to blow off some steam it won't be with video games.[/quote]

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