Reply to So Tired of Negotiating Everything

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I am so sorry.  I am going to say a few things.  1. You are ALLOWED to have a preference.  You're allowed to have an opinion.  You're allowed to like turkey over ham.

My mother doesn't eat turkey, so for turkey-holidays, she always buys a small ham or has some ham for herself.  She's allowed.

I was in an emotionally abusive marriage, and these kind of interactions were used to emotionally abuse me, even though it took me years to see it.  They served to undercut my feelings and undermine my trust in myself.  In my story, when I fought back (saying no, holding the line, defending my feelings/opinion/self), it escalated the situation.  You being left confused and frustrated, while giving in, right now is saving you.  When I became sure of myself, sure of my opinions, sure of what I liked and what I wanted, he came at me hard.

I do hope what you're dealing with is not what I've dealt with, but I just want to share my story so you can take a long hard look at the whole picture.

Good luck.[/quote]

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